By Josie Mac

THE “ONE FOOT OF DECENT MEN” LIST (yes it’s that small)

These are the unicorns. The rare ones.

 The men who actually communicate, take accountability, and don’t weaponize children like emotional pawns in a game nobody asked to play. They don’t fold like origami the second life gets uncomfortable. They clean up after themselves — physically and emotionally. They regulate their emotions without a full system crash. They don’t need you to mother them, manage them, or decode them.

They show up.

 They stay consistent.

 They grow.

They have actual, adult-level empathy.

There are… maybe… five.

 Total.

On Earth.

 We’re being generous.

 THE OTHER FOOT — AKA THE BOOT OF RIGHTEOUS VENGEANCE

 This foot is buussyy.

This is the one drop-kicking manchildren, Peter Pans, and emotionally constipated warriors who treat accountability like it’s optional and growth like it’s a personal attack.

 It’s handling the weaponized incompetence champions, the deflection pros, and the “I’m sick” sniffle soldiers who need a full emotional support team for a minor inconvenience.

It’s reserved for the accountability-avoidance experts, the grown toddlers with facial hair, and the exes who somehow blame you for relationships they personally set on fire.

And yes — it’s got extra energy for anyone who thinks a woman with needs is “too much” while they’re out here crumbling under the weight of a responsibility as small as a sliver.

Final truth:

There aren’t two types of men.

There are two levels of effort.

And one of them is already exhausted.

Still buffering.

Try again later.