By Josie Mac

The Adam’s Apple Malfunction Theory

Let’s ask the question no one ever really circles back to:

Why do we call it the Adam’s Apple?

Yes, it’s biblical. Yes, I’m a believer. Yes — Adam ate the apple.

But here’s the part that always gets skipped:

Eve ate it too.

And somehow… the apple didn’t get stuck in her throat.

For centuries, Eve — and by extension women — have been blamed for temptation, for

“leading men astray,” for being the problem — as if she force-fed him fruit or stripped him of

agency.

Yet anatomically speaking, if the apple lodged anywhere, it lodged in Adam’s throat — front

and center, visible forever. Which feels… symbolic.

The Malfunction

Some men clearly need to shed their entire throat chakra, because somewhere along the way

ego got stuck, accountability lodged sideways, introspection never made it past the uvula, and

apology hit a traffic jam at the tonsils.

The Adam’s Apple isn’t malfunctioning — it’s rejecting responsibility like a bad organ

transplant.

So no, we can’t punch it. But we can laugh at the fact that it appears to function as a

permanent blockage preventing maturity.

If men had to experience even ten percent of what women carry daily — kids, chaos, court

papers, medical schedules, and calm conversations — the Adam’s Apple would’ve packed its

bags and left.

And let’s not forget the double standard. When women lose their shit, it’s a psych ward, a

padded room, and instructions to find a corner — in a round room. Meanwhile, men implode

emotionally and it’s just called stress.

If conversations could have subtitles, this would say:Thinking…

Think…

ERROR

Try again.

Rerouting…

We can’t punch the problem. But we can laugh at the emotional anatomy that failed us —

because sometimes laughter clears the throat better than silence ever did.

Still buffering.

Try again later.